This has been a rough week
for my writing. I have two short stories I’m editing. I haven’t touched them in
over a week. Each time I’ve gone near either of them, I cringed and did
anything else. Today, I put my foot down and made myself confront my fear. Why
was I scared to finish my editing?
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| Nagging self-doubt... what if? |
Basically, both stories are a
reader’s nightmare. Awkward sentences, run-ons, unclear descriptions, you name
it. This opened the door for nagging self-doubt. I’m not talking about the
helpful inner editor that says, “That ‘but’ should be an ‘and.’ That is an awkward
sentence.” I’m talking about the mean voice that says, “You’re not a good
writer. There is so much rewriting to do, you might as well not have written
anything at all.”
Beyond this negative voice
screaming in my head, I think my stories need to be longer. Both stories seem
like they are introductions to something more. I’m scared of writing longer. I’m
scared of making plot holes and flat characters. I just don’t know how to write
longer. In addition, part of my process is to write in twenty minute segments.
Thinking about writing 50,000 words in twenty minute segments seems daunting.
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| Need encouragement? Call a friend |
So, what do I do? How do I
overcome the nagging self doubt and move forward with my writing and career?
First, I must remember good writing is good editing. This is especially true
with these manuscripts since they were written as part of National Novel
Writing Month. Second, my sex scenes need help because they are coming from my
imagination rather than describing what I did yesterday, which is what I’ve
done in the past. Third, I’m still developing my skills. They will improve the
more I write. You can see this in the works of big name authors, especially if
you look back to some of their earlier work. Lastly, I need to remember even
Sherrilyn Kenyon has that negative self doubting voice. What does she do? She
calls a friend who encourages her.
I need to take heart and move
on. How? Address the problems. For instance, I don’t know how to write a longer
book and I’m scared. That is valid, but instead of running away from writing, I
need to find a way forward. I could go online to various forums, groups and
chat rooms to find a mentor. Someone who has written a longer book and can give
advice and help guide me along. I can also look at how to books for advice. My
other major fear to confront is the quality of my writing. I need to find a
“first reader” or a “beta reader” to help assess my level of work. Someone who
will give feedback on what I do well in addition to what I need to work on.
Once I have that information, I can focus on improving my weaker areas.
Don’t let negative self doubt
scare you away from writing. Look beyond those harsh words and find the real
problem. Then take steps to address those fears so you can move forward. I
leave you with a quote that was recently sent to me. “There is no agony like
bearing an untold story inside you.” –Maya Angelou
Contact Brooke at brookeanderson@gmail.com
Follow her on twitter: @BrookeAn11
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