My favorite ways to procrastinate

Last week I mentioned that writers are neurotic. It's the truth. We have more foibles and superstitions than baseball players (but cleaner laundry. Probably).
Anyway, one of the things we ALL do is procrastinate. We could be doing it to put off writing THE END on a project (my current procrastination). It could be to put off starting a new project. Or maybe the middle of the book is driving us nuts and won't cooperate, so why not procrastinate?
Yep, however many words there are in any given project, there is an equal number of ways and reasons to procrastinate writing.
Oh, eventually it'll get done. Probably. There's a great likelihood. Mostly.
But for now, when you need that little writing "time out", I thought I would share some of my favorite ways to not be writing until the last possible second:

Come on B7. BINGO, damn it, BINGO!

1. Video Bingo. This is a new one for me. I found www.gsn.com on both my computer and my iPhone. Tragic. Now I have TWO ways to procrastinate. GSN has all sorts of fun games like slots and video poker but my absolute favorite is Video Bingo. You don't win anything (except the glory of yelling Bingo!) but I find the excitement of begging the uncaring electronic unit for B7 for the win. It usually goes something like this: "One number," I'll mutter. "One number for a double bingo. There are 16 numbers left to call. Surely I'll get it. Come on. One number and I score 10,000 tokens. Do you know how many cards that is? That's three games of three 1,000 token cards with 1,000 left over. Come ON! B7! B7! Wait, that's B3. Not what I need. Oh, G57. I see, you're taunting me now. Whatcha gonna do next? Throw me I17? Oh. No. You. Didn't. I hate this game. So uncool. Come on, B7. Wait a second. O69? Bingo!! Yes!!!" And so it goes... It can get disturbing.

2. Sorting. I know. You're thinking "What the hell is she talking about?" But seriously, sorting is a great time waster. Especially if you have multiple items of multiple items. I, for one, am well known for my office supply fetish. It's a sickness and no, I don't plan on seeking therapy for it. I have so many pens, notebooks, journals, highlighters, paper clips and index cards that I could open my own storefront and probably never run out. So, when I'm feeling peckish about where the book is going and I need to "think" (by the way, this is a code word for procrastinate, don't let anyone tell you different) I will pull out my office supply apocalypse box and start sorting. First, I sort out the above mentioned supplies from each other. I now have lots of lovely piles. Then I start channeling the Hogwarts Sorting Hat (without the royalties, more's the pity) and sort into smaller piles. The pens get sorted by ink type (gel or roller or ballpoint) then by click or cap then by ink color. If I'm feeling REALLY procrastinate-y I will sort them by barrel color. This can get even deeper because then I have to do it all over again. Next, I'll move on to the notebooks. Color, size, wide ruled, narrow ruled... you get the drift. And so on and so forth. When I'm done, it all goes back in the box for another day. Hey, I never said it was logical. It's procrastinating for Pete's Sake!

3. Investigation Discovery aka Discovery ID. Dude, they even have their own hash tag on Twitter #IDAddict) There are only a few shows that I won't watch. I love 'em all. I'm always intrigued by just how dumb criminals can be but also by how incredibly smart and scary they can be. Plus, I'm always looking for new ideas and what better place than an entire network devoted to crime?! Hm, so would this count as research and not procrastination? I think I have a good case for that.

4. Jeopardy! This is a great procrastination vehicle because it's got a time limit. It's only 24 minutes long (less if you have a DVR and can skip commercials). Plus, it makes me feel smarter or dumber, depending on how well I do in the categories. I usually rock baseball and music ones. Math and Geography are my Achilles Heel(s).

Ah, the smell of fresh laundry.

5. Laundry. I know what you're thinking. WHAT? Are you nuts? But not really. It's kind of like sorting as mentioned above except I get the added benefit of clean clothes. AND I get to use my handy dandy Flip N Fold. If you don't have one of those, get one. They are freaking awesome. They fold shirts, pants and towels quickly but they also smoosh them down to a smaller size which means more clothes fit in the drawer which means you can buy more clothes which leads to another fabulous procrastination technique - shopping!

There you have it! Five fun ways to procrastinate. But do not abuse these methods or that book will never get written. During the final pages of Empowered [Sexual Magic 3] I admit to using Method #1 a lot. A LOT, A LOT. But the book came together and will be available in two short days. So, procrastination, when used for good, can really help. It's just a matter of knowing when to say when.

Happy reading!

Jennifer

Six Sentence Sunday

He pulled back and met her gaze.

“I’m going to kiss you, Sheridan Aames.”

“Are you asking permission?” she whispered.

He shook his head and one lone lock of hair curled over his forehead, dipping down toward his incredible, startling green eyes. They shone eerily from the inside as if they were backlit by some mysterious source. “I don’t ask permission, something you’ll soon learn.”

Muse Protection Program

Photo courtesy of Svilen Milev www.efffective.com (yes, three F's!)

As writers, we're a pretty neurotic bunch. I suspect more than half of us are also superstitious. I know I am. When I write, I have to have the same music on (Original Cast Recording from the Phantom of the Opera starring Sarah Brightman and Michael Crawford), be in same clothes (smurf pajama bottoms and a t-shirt), have the same drink at hand (Dr Pepper for story stuff, Llano Blush for the sexy stuff) and be at a real desk (I've tried to write propped up in bed or lounging in the chaise and it's just so unproductive!). I also follow the exact same routine when I get on the computer and before I start writing. I like to think of it as priming my muse. Getting her out of bed and ready to face the writing day.
First, I check my email. Then Facebook. Then Twitter. I scan my favorite news sites (5 in all) then finally open up my music player and hit play on Phantom. I'm ready to go and so is my muse. She settles down and we kick some serious writing ass. That blinking cursor and white screen don't scare us!

It hasn't always been this way, though. In fact, it's only been a few years since I got BACK into writing. I was in a void of creativity for two years and it was a most depressing time. I was often grumpy and empty yet every time I tried to start anything, even write one lousy sentence, my muse dove for the covers and refused to come out. She'd been beaten near to death with a very large stick. And probably a bomb made of C4.


Unfortunately what was going on wasn't quite that obvious. It was subtle and stealthy and nearly lethal to my creative side. When I finally realized that the situation was killing my muse, I removed myself from the situation but my muse refused to come out to play.

Squee! The Muse and  I
celebrate our first
release!

As I said, it took her two years to come back out. I lured her out with Julie Cameron's The Artist's Way, good, supportive friends, sheer determination and a rope. It was one of the hardest things I'd done but it was a positive thing. Not long after, I published Her Dark Master, my first book. I was elated.

Things went swimmingly for a while then I ran into another roadblock when I was unexpectedly waylaid by a wall of censure and cold shoulders. The thing that made this really bad is the attitude emanated from people I trusted and confided in. I fought for months and I felt my muse slipping further and further away. This time, though, I was determined not to let her go. I threw the rope around her teeny little waist and yanked with all my strength.

Then, I sat down and had a talk with myself. It was rough and often rude and there was lots of crying (hey, I said we were neurotic. Not only do we hear the voices in our heads, we often argue with them.) When the tissues were sodden and the chocolate consumed, I had an epiphany. She and I worked out a deal to protect her at all costs: write for myself, my characters and no one else. Ever since I had that brainstorm, my muse and I have been happily burning up the keyboard with lots of books (nine of them with more on the way!) and even more ideas. I can quite often be caught with my face frozen, mouth agape and brain working feverishly. Thankfully, my family is used to this expression and now, instead of calling an ambulance, they hand me something to write on.

The lesson of Muse Protection came to the fore again today when I was involved in a discussion with fellow authors about how to handle the things we all have to face like rejection, critics, ridicule and the ever popular "You write what?!" I offered my two cents, then my muse and I happily went back to writing a chilling little story that makes my skin crawl and her cackle with absolute glee.

I'm not sure about the story, but she's having a blast and really, if your muse is happy, who cares?

So, protect your muse. Protect your writing. Cull from your life those who would drag you down and pummel your muse into creative unconsciousness. She deserves much better than that.

P.S. My muse just happens to be the adult form of Ember, the daughter of Cutter & Leetah from Elfquest by the genius and talented brains of Richard & Wendy Pini. If you don't know Elfquest, then you are so missing out. It's one of the coolest graphic comic series in the history of ever. Check it out! My Ember muse image is from the Gatherum. She's totally grown, sporting a huge assed sword and looking smug and defiant. LOVE IT.

Happy reading,
Jennifer

THE Romance Writer's Conference

RWA's Annual Conference begins July 25 in Anaheim, California
Photo by Hilde Vanstraelen / www.biewoef.be

Starting tomorrow, the Romance Writers of America's annual conference begins in the bright sunshine of Anaheim, California. This four day long event is chock full of writers (both published and pre-published), editors, agents and various romance reading enthusiasts.
I so wish I was there.
Since my first conference in 1999, I have missed very few of them. Each one is different, held in a different city with a different theme. The only constant is the absolute level of enthusiasm that permeates the event. Being a writer, surrounded by other writers who get you and by potential publishers, is thisclose to Nirvana. The conference is jam-packed from the time you rise in the morning until you drop into your bed late, late at night. Workshops, seminars and editor/agent appointments are in full swing usually from 8 in the morning until sometimes 10 at night. Afterward, the hotel bar is the place to be. A lot of interesting conversations are held in the bar. If you're lucky enough to be in a city where the RWA conference is being held, you should meander on down to the conference hotel and just hang in the bar. Fascinating.
On the final night, RWA announces its Golden Heart and RITA award winners - basically the Oscars of the romance writing world.
That's usually held on Saturday night. On Sunday the hotel empties out pretty fast and I'm certain the staff breathes a huge sigh of relief that can be heard on the opposite coast.
In the years I've gone, I've been treated to some phenomenal experiences. Things that I'm forever grateful for. Here are some highlights:

I love this JG novel. In fact, I loved it so much, I named the heroine
of my upcoming book Empowered after the Madelyn in this book. She was such a great role model. I re-read this one all the time and it never goes stale.
Honor's Splendor

1999 -Chicago. My critique partners and I are sitting in the lobby of the hotel trying to figure out what to do next when one friend sees my ultimate favorite author strolling by. Without a qualm, she yells out "Yoohoo! Julie! Julie Garwood."
Julie looks over and my friend points to me and says "This is your biggest fan."
Julie smiled, came over and spent the next 30 minutes talking to us. I was in absolute heaven.

2001 - New Orleans - A good friend and I signed up for the Walking Tour of New Orleans and saw so many beautiful bits of architecture, history and downright spookiness. I fell in love with New Orleans that trip and long to return. During our tour, we passed by Anne Rice's house. Unfortunately for us, she was not in town. Our tour guide said that when she is, she always brings out a plate of cookies for the tour groups and chats with them. How cool would that have been?

The Hawkins brothers return with
Hayden's poignant story of redemption,
confession and absolute passion.

As Good as His Word

2002 - Denver - The first time I hooked up with the rocking cool Susan Gable for what would become conference tradition.

2003 - New York - This was my first trip to New York City and I was pretty darn impressed. I walked and shopped and played. One of the most fun things was going to Jekyll & Hyde's restaurant. The atmosphere was appropriately creepy even if the food was mundane.

2004- Dallas - The conference was in my hometown and I got the chance to show off Texas to my out-of-state friends. We rode the bull at Billy Bob's in Texas. Wow.

2006 - Atlanta - This just happened to be right after the Georgia World Aquarium opened and Holy Carp! If you've never been, you must absolutely go. It's breathtaking.

He's a Texas lawman carrying
a badge...and a grudge.

And he could die protecting
his unintended bride.

Laws of Attraction

2007 - Dallas - Yep, it came back just a few years later. This time I had the double pleasure of getting Diana Duncan AND Susan Gable with me. We had an absolute blast and I'm pretty sure we drove a lot of people nuts.

2008 - San Francisco - I was fortunate enough to go with another writing friend who was getting back into the business after a little bit of time off. We walked everywhere in San Fran and truly enjoyed the city. The views and people are breathtaking. Our particular favorite were the Pocket Gardens that littered the city. This was also the year I met with my future Red Sage Publisher for the first time. She was a delight.

The final book in Sophie Oak's
Fae Trilogy is not to be missed.
A lost princess, dark magic &
two men determined to find
their own true one.
BEAUTY

2011 - New York - Quite possibly one of the best times I'd ever had at conference. I attended with Sophie Oak who is one of the smartest, wittiest and best writers I know. She is also a huge foodie. We went to dinner at Cirque where we feasted on a five course dinner that was out of this stratosphere. I still dream about that dinner.

Throughout the years, many other things have happened but those things are NOT for publication. Although, I'm sure if you make it to the conference hotel bar, you will hear some stories. A lot of stories. Most of them are even true.

Each year, RWA sponsors a free literacy booksigning that is attended by hundreds of authors. The event is free to attend to the general public and the authors are eager and excited to talk to you. They won't rush you off and they are truly delighted to see you and interact with you. So, this year the event is being held in the Anaheim Convention Center. You can see a list of all the authors signing at the link above. All of the proceeds benefit local literacy programs. So stop by, buy a book and give your favorite author a thrill by telling her (or him) how wonderful you find his work. Honestly, we really, really love to hear from you!

That being said, stop by my Facebook author page and "Like" me! I'm also on Twitter (@Jennifer_August) but I'm a bit saucy, so be warned.

For updates on my newest releases and the craziness I get into, check out my website at JenniferAugust.com. You can sign up for my monthly newsletter and get even more dish!

Happy reading,
Jennifer

When outside the box gets crazy

What's hiding in the dark? (Photo courtesy of David Schauer) 

I'm tackling a new challenge for a call for submissions from a publisher. The call really intrigued me because it's something that I never even thought of doing (you'll have to come back later to find out what it was because I'm not saying until I hear yea or nay). I'll give you a hint though - it's scary. The basic idea was to write a horror romance story. I'm assuming something along the lines of Zombie Make Out Session wouldn't work. Wouldn't things break off at crucial moments?!
Anyway, I had this idea for the story and started writing it. The only problem is that I'm scaring the pee out of myself. I'm not sure anyone else will find it scary but I have had to sleep with the lights on a couple of nights since I started writing it.
I don't know if it's the subject (ghosts) or that a lot of it takes place in the dark. When I sleep I have to have the entire place dark. Even the green pinprick of light from my smoke detector can wake me up. But I'm asleep in the dark. Being awake in it is super creepy.
Don't believe me? Try it one night. Turn off all your lights. Shut down everything from your computer monitor glow to your television to even your alarm clock. Make the room as dark as you can. Then just lie there. And wait.
Keep your eyes open and look around the room. Shapes are different. Objects that usually you don't take notice of are suddenly sinister and somehow oppressive. As if every time you look away they move just a bit closer. Closer. CLOSER. Until wham! They are on top of you. Strangling you. Sucking the life from your body. Smothering you... well, you get the idea.
Sometimes in the middle of the dark I'll blink and a face appears then disappears with the next fall of my eyelashes. No matter how hard I try, I can't bring the face back to study it. To reassure myself it was nothing.
Then I'm stuck thinking about it. Freaking myself out more and more. The more I think the more the items in my bedroom turn ominous. Usually it culminates in a total freak out when I look at my television and convince myself the chick from The Ring is crawling out with her blue tinged arms and black tangle of hair.
That's when the light comes on.
Sigh.
I'm determined, however, to finish this story. Even if that means I have to sleep with the entire house blazing for the rest of the year.
What freaks you out that you didn't think ever would?
Happy reading,
Jennifer

Six Sentence Sunday

Jake traced a blue vein from her shoulder down her breast and around the side. He continued along the middle of her chest until he circled her navel. Her tummy tensed and pulsed and she grabbed at his wrist.

He stilled immediately. His blue gaze sure and hot.

Jake didn’t say a word but continued to caress her tummy, giving her the time she needed to relax. 

Could you be an exhibitionist? by Cassandra Carr

Could you be an exhibitionist?
by Cassandra Carr

A few days ago, myself and two fellow authors released an anthology called Public Displays of Eroticism. As you might guess from the title, it's about public displays. I think the idea of a public display of eroticism turns a lot of people on, but would they really do it? Would you?

In this book, the couples take public displays to an extreme, or watch other people take them to an extreme. Or both. I think if most of us were going to try outdoor sex, we'd choose, say, a car in a deserted parking lot off a seldom-traveled road, not a public park like our naughty couples do. But hey, you've gotta start somewhere.

Not everyone has the desire, and even if they have the desire, not everyone has the drive to be an exhibitionist. And that's okay. The world needs voyeurs too. ;-) KIDDING (no I'm not). So if you don't think you could drop trou in an alcove, or a bathroom, or a field, that doesn't make you a boring person. But if you can, it makes you an interesting person, at least in our book (literally). 

Here's a little introduction to each story in the anthology:

Public Displays of Eroticism

The secret fantasy, sex in a public place. One couple's sexual antics at a local park inspires four other couples to bare it all in the open air. Featuring short stories by Cassandra Carr, Jami Davenport and Cristal Ryder.

Back to Nature by Cassandra Carr

A sub and her Master play hooky to indulge their exhibitionism kink and unknowingly start an entire chain of events.

Hail Mari by Jami Davenport

Meeting Mari Simms for one night of hot sex each year for the past four years is no longer enough for Wyatt Bedford, a ten-year veteran of professional football. This time, he plans on telling her he wants more. While waiting for her in a park, he stumbles upon a sight that changes his game plan and takes their relationship to a whole new level. Can Wyatt and Mari find love in the final quarter with the clock ticking?

 

Taking it Outside by Cristal Ryder

Val sets up an afternoon of play with long-time boyfriend Tyler at a secluded beach.  After packing a goodie bag with playthings, she leaves a note for Tyler. While waiting for his arrival, through binoculars Val spots lovers on the distant shore, and when Tyler arrives, together they watch the couple. Voyeurism at its best. Turned on by watching the couple have sex, Val and Ty have their own public display of eroticism.

Taking their loving outside is a surprisingly erotic treat neither expected to enjoy as much as they do. But a bigger surprise awaits them, leaving them wondering if there is more to come.

A Whole New World by Cassandra Carr

After witnessing some dirty deeds in the woods, Miranda finds she has some kinks she didn't know about and discovers her boyfriend, Ross, is more than happy to help her explore them.

In the Open by Jami Davenport

Once a year, Jaid Angelini takes a break from her demanding career as a criminal defense attorney for a night of passion with young, hot pro-football player Alex Greeley. Despite misgivings about their age difference, Jaid desires a more permanent relationship and concocts a scheme to brand her name on his heart. After witnessing an exhibitionist couple in the park, her plan takes a turn toward the great outdoors. Will Alex and Jaid finally go for the long bomb or settle for minimum yardage?

And an excerpt from the first story, Back to Nature, which jump-starts the other four:

We make the short drive to the lake and park the car. Dmitri takes my hand as we stroll around the perimeter.

He soon pulls me out onto one of many scenic points overlooking the lake, and places me in front of him so we’re both facing the pristine, peaceful view. His erection nestles into my bottom as his hands steal underneath my shirt, kneading my breasts. Dmitri pulls the shirt up to expose me and I dart a quick glance around, wondering if the hikers at the other overlooks around the lake can see me. I lean my head back on his shoulder like I know he wants me to as he pinches and tweaks my nipples.

Turning me around, he grabs me and lifts me to his pelvis briefly before setting me back on my feet. He leans down and re-wets the front of my shirt as he sucks on my nipples again. I moan, grabbing Dmitri’s head. A twig snaps and I look around him to see another couple about fifty feet away. They avert their eyes and walk past the overlook. As the exhibitionist in me comes alive, I grin and Dmitri’s head moves to my other breast.

So, could you be an exhibitionist?